Wear Your Helmet!

Argh! In the wake of an excruciatingly frustrating conversation with a dear friend regarding bike helmets, I feel compelled to broadcast the following:

WEAR YOUR BIKE HELMETS! MAKE YOUR KIDS WEAR THEM!

Bike helmets are so inexpensive and accessible these days, and the benefits are so obvious, that I cannot comprehend any reasons not to wear one! Also, in the state of California, it is the law:

A person under 18 years of age shall not operate a bicycle, a nonmotorized scooter, or a skateboard, nor shall they wear in-line or roller skates, nor ride upon a bicycle, a nonmotorized scooter, or a skateboard as a passenger, upon a street, bikeway, as defined in Section 890.4 of the Streets and Highways Code, or any other public bicycle path or trail unless that person is wearing a properly fitted and fastened bicycle helmet that meets the standards of either the American Society for Testing and Materials (ASTM) or the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), or standards subsequently established by those entities. This requirement also applies to a person who rides upon a bicycle while in a restraining seat that is attached to the bicycle or in a trailer towed by the bicycle.

further:

The parent or legal guardian having control or custody of an unemancipated minor whose conduct violates this section shall be jointly and severally liable with the minor for the amount of the fine imposed pursuant to this subdivision.

If you want to read more about this, go to:

http://www.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/vctop/d11/vc21201.htm

Would you refuse to put your child in a car seat because it was inconvenient or unglamorous? I didn't think so! We ALL know someone who has been in some sort of bike or skateboarding accident. My husband has cracked more than one helmet and I am soooooooo grateful that his helmet cracked and not his noggin!

Whew! Thanks for staying true through my rant. Now do something about it -- strap helmets on those heads!

Best Joke Ever!

Well, best joke of this moment until I hear the next best joke ever!

q: How much do you pay a mohel?

a: Nothing; he just collects tips!

Hahahahahhahahaha! Good thing I have my Depends handy now -- that joke kills me every time!

Thanks Becky! Your skillz at Boggle and joke telling are unmatched!

Heartbeats

So, can someone please explain how, in what seems like fractions of fractions of seconds, this:

has morphed into this:


My sweet girl is SO big! AND she's a fantabulous gymnast!!

Of all the NICU's in all the world. . .

Weirdness has ensued: I signed Lucy up for gymnastics the other day. There are five kids in her class, with one set of twins. I got to talking with their mom, and as it turns out, they were born in the same hospital in San Diego as Lucy. Not only that, all three kids were in the NICU ward together. In addition, the mom and I had the same OB. Now seriously, folks, what are the chances that out of the 10 kids that were in that NICU four years ago, 3 of them would be in the same gymnastics class in Menlo Park (which is like 500 miles away)?

2007 Top Ten

So 2007 was a tough year, but instead of focusing on the sinkhole that it was, I have decided to post my Top Ten 2007: Things That Rescued My Sanity from the Dark Abyss. Bon Appetit!

10. Vegas! Sparring, Wolfgang Puck's, Bouchon, and then finally, wonderfully, Daniel Bouloud's. Heaven help me, it was all I could do to keep myself from running into the kitchen and stealing their bacon after I found out charcuterie was done on site. I am still plotting my raid of their fridge. Thank you, Rosalie!
9. Books! Of course the most awesome mention goes to Harry Potter. Most excellent. After that, there were several tomes that more than captured my imagination: Pope Joan, Pride and Prejudice (never, ever gets old!), The Invention of Hugo Cabret, No Reservations, Heat, Suite Francias, and darn it all if I didn't enjoy those lame vampire books! Argh!
8. Trash talk, primarily Boggle and Settlers of Catan oriented. A shout out must be for Becky and her skillz in the category of Boggle and trash talk. Also a shout out to Carrie, but only for her skillz in trash talk. I would give her props for her skillz at Settlers, but she doesn't have any.
7. Britney Spears. No matter how lame life gets, Britney Spears' will always be lamer. Thank you, Britney for your devotion to mediocrity and crazy!
6. So You Think You Can Dance live tour. SO MUCH FUN! Amy, Anne and Angie -- you made the night so awesome. I'm glad that I wasn't the only 30-something there cheering for Neil and Sabra!
5. Hysterical stories! Darn it all if I don't laugh while writing just the blurbs of these: Annie Mac's description of herself in high school (head-gear, home-school, side ponytail with six scrunchies, and the t-shirt she got at the dentist's office). Sufi's tragic tale of rabies in Turkey (find the dog that bit you and cut of its head). My dear mother's accounting of her gutted bathroom and her dismay that the cleaning ladies refuse to dust there. I need to start wearing Depends when I speak with such funny ladies! Hilarious!
4. F & Z. Two disco balls of awesome that I would never survive without. How I ever survived before without you is a mystery to me. Thanks for being the grooviest!
3. Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!
2. Other people's babies. Thanks for letting me hold your kids and not pressing charges when I run away with them (Lys-An).
1. My Mathias and Lucy. Although these two drove me to the edge of sanity many times, they get top billing. Mathias, my sweetheart (me: "Mathias, I want to go on a date." Mathias' response: "With who?"), and my dear beautiful Lucy ("I love you the mostiest first, mama."). My heart practically explodes with joy from these two wonders in my life.

There you go, my top ten. If you didn't make the list this year and are feeling disappointed, please feel free to send bribes to me at any time in 2008. If you have any complaints, please email them to me at:

jen@idon'tcareaboutyourlamecomplaint.com

Happy New Year!

The Maiden Voyage

I discovered today that I already have a blog when I thought I did not. So here it is, my maiden voyage into the blogiverse. If I had a bottle of Champagne, I would now be breaking it against my computer monitor.

Wish me luck, world! Here I go!