Bring on the Greeks! There's a tragedy afoot!

Dear Readers, this opening act and forthcoming second and third acts come amidst actual controversy and tragedy. Everything is, depressingly enough, quoted from actual conversations that I had with Sears' pathologically incompetent customer service and their knuckle-dragging, sharp-as-tacks ambassadors to my home: Sears Home Delivery personnel.

The Tragical History of
LG and SubZero
Fridges of Mosinski


For never was a story of more wo
Than this of Jennifer and her SubZero.

Act 1

May 19, 2008: 3pm

Sears Customer Service: Thank you for calling Sears, how may I help you today?
Jen: I need to schedule the delivery of my new fridge – I am the renter of the property where it’s going to be delivered.
Sears: Do you have the purchaser’s phone number?
Jen: No, I have the address where the fridge is to be delivered. I also have the owner’s name and address.
Sears: Do you have the purchaser’s phone number?
Jen: No. . . . I have the delivery address and the owner’s name and address.
Sears: Do you have a sales receipt number?
Jen: No, I have the delivery address and the owner’s name and address. The purchaser of the fridge called earlier to make sure that it was okay that I call. Can’t you just enter his name?
Sears: That’s not how we look things up here.
Jen: Seriously? Are you sure you can’t just type in the name?
Sears: Yes. I am sure. We need a phone number to look up an order.
Jen: Really?
Sears: Well, let me see. What was the owners name?
Jen: Manish Smith [actual name changed to protect innocent parties]
Sears: Oh, yes, the refrigerator.
Jen: Yes.
Sears: I can’t schedule that delivery now. Someone will call you between six and eight this evening.
Jen: They will call me?
Sears: Yes. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Jen: No.
Sears: Thank you for choosing Sears.

May 19, 2008: 8:30pm

Sears: Thank you for calling Sears, how may I help you?
Jen: Yes, I need to schedule delivery of my new refrigerator. I have a sales receipt number, a phone number, a name and delivery address.
Sears: Do you have the phone number?
Jen: Yes, it's (555) SEARSSTINKS [actual number protected to say that Sears stinks]
Sears: I don't see that number in the database.
Jen: I have a sales receipt number.
Sears: I can't look it up by the sales receipt number.
Jen: I have a name and delivery address.
Sears: I can only look up the item by phone number.
Jen: I went through this earlier today. They were able to look up the fridge by the last name.
Sears: No, we can't do that.
Jen: Yes, you can.
Sears: No, we need a phone number.
Jen: I just gave you one, and it didn't work. Can you please look up the name Manish Smith?
Sears: Well. . . (typing). Okay, an LG refrigerator?
Jen: Yes.
Sears: That will be delivered to you tomorrow between 12:45 and 2:45pm.
Jen: Thank you.
Sears: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Jen: No.
Sears: Thank you for choosing Sears.

May 20, 2008: 3:30pm

Sears (this representative was obviously in a foreign land, and female): Thank you for calling Sears, my name is Josh, how may I help you today?
Jen: Hello Josh, I am waiting for some delivery people to come with my fridge, and they are not here. They should have been here like forty-five minutes ago.
Sears: Can you give me the phone number?
Jen: No, I can't. It didn't work yesterday. I will give you the name and delivery address.
Sears: I can't look up the transaction without a phone number.
Jen: Yes, you can. The name is Manish Smith.
Sears: Okay.
typing
Sears: Good news ma'am: your refrigerator is still scheduled to arrive today!
Jen: Of course it is. When will it be here?
Sears: It will be there today!
Jen: Yes, but when?
Sears: Your refrigerator is scheduled to arrive today!
Jen: Anytime between now and the end of the day?
Sears: Yes, ma'am, that's correct!
Jen: Are you going to refund the delivery costs because you are so late?
Sears: I'm sorry, what item are you referring to?
Jen: The LG refrigerator.
Sears: Yes ma'am, it's scheduled to be delivered today.
Jen: Are you going to refund the delivery costs because you are late?
Sears: I'm sorry, you'll have to speak to your sales representative about that. I can only tell you scheduling information. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Jen: No.
Sears: Thank you for choosing Sears.

End Act 1

Driving Around

The last few days I been thinking about the reality of moving here and what that means for me and my family. I get a bit ponderous, then eventually distracted by the sheer volume of things I have to do during the day. The other night, after a day of cleaning and organizing and general parenting, the house felt warm and a bit lonely, so I opened the sliding doors and I sat down and listened to the creek and felt the cool air come in. Today, driving to a friend's house, I took a different route and when I came out onto the highway I gasped out loud. It is beautiful here. Just stunning.

And there's something else, too. I can't define it. It's this feeling that I have, sitting, listening to the creek. Something in my stomach that flutters when I see the trees against the road; when I glimpse the Cascades behind them. Driving over Mercer Island and seeing Seattle's skyline against the Olympic backdrop. Even when it's rainy, coming home to our little valley, watching the mist swirl up against the mountains. I would say that it takes my breath away, but really it doesn't. It gives me new breath, new life, every time I look outside.
Further definition eludes me right now, so I leave with an invitation: Come sit with me and hear the creek. We'll have some tea and enjoy the weather, rain or shine, because both are beautiful here. Bring your own teacups, though, because I'm still unpacking mine.