11 April 2008

Glurp! Lifetime Project Runway!

Okay, so is this just a horrible horrible joke that Project Runway is moving to the Lifetime network? I mean, I will be the first to admit that I have frequented Lifetime in the past, but only for shameful shows like The Nanny (so funny it still makes me cry!), and Mathias occasionally stops for the Golden Girls (*sigh* -- I don't know what to do about that: accept it and move on, I guess). But super awesome Project Runway?!?!?!?! Blerg! What will happen to my yummy Runway goodness? Here are some of my nightmare episodes which, alas, could very well come true:
  • Celebrity Client: Joanna Kerns and Tracey Gold reunite to launch their new fashion line Growin' Paynzz 2008!
  • Challenge: Fabulous "I'm Over It!" outfit for going to meet your Ex and his new boyfriend, who is really that pregnant dude from Oprah. Drama!
  • A Very Special Confessional: Nina Garcia admits to Blossom that she really wears black socks with Birkenstocks, all with her favorite pair of hot pink stirrup pants. Intervention!
  • Double Your Pleasure: Fraternal twins seperated at birth, both abusive drug addicts, discover that they are married to each other and expecting triplets! Design the mutant inbred baby outfits before grandma makes an appearance and confesses that she sold one of the twins to support her Diet Coke habit! This is one episode you can't afford to miss!
  • Shunned in the City: An Amish girl defies her family and moves to the big city to be with her tatoo artist boyfriend. Design an outfit for a newly "shunned" Rachel as she flees to Cleveland. No more bonnets for this baby!
  • Sweet Poison: Your husband is drugging you to keep you from finding out that he's also poisoning you -- what do you wear to escape (Based on actual events. Seriously!)? Gulp!
  • 9-0-2-1-Oh No You Didn't: Christian reunties the fierce cast of 90210 to host an intervention for Andrea. And you know she's a tranny mess!
  • Finale: Design an outfit for Heidi Klum to wear to the grave, because her life in fashion is gonna be OVER! Aufwiedersehen, Heidi, cause you are soooooo out!
Project Runway say it ain't so! I will miss you and your fabulous Bravo ways!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are funny. You kill me. How's washington life? Do you love it out there? I'm excited you live there I want to come visit you sometime. I miss you and love your guts.

Melissa said...

Okay, Jen. That was just laugh out loud hilarious!! You and Tina Fey should be friends.

Congratulations on getting a cell phone. I'm jealous of your adorable pink phone.

Unknown said...

L-O-V-E the post. Glad you told me to go check your blog, needed a good laugh. Love ya.

jane maynard said...

jen, you crack me up. I can't believe this is happening either!!!! man. what a sad day.

I'm actually going to start cooking this week and actually USING our new kitchen. :)

Carrie Hellewell said...

I wasn't sure what to think of this news. I didn't even know Lifetime still existed. They must have been saving up for the last 25 years to buy something this big for the network. What the what?! I don't know what it means but I'm assuming it's not good. What a tranny mess.

Anonymous said...

hey I need you to put up more pics and i just checked the price to fly to washington and it's about the same as utah so i might have to plan a trip to see you guys. did you get a place to live already?

Elissa Minor Rust said...

Are you kidding me that you're in Washington and never freaking TOLD ME? A mere three hours separate us. You are going to love living in Seattle.

Ludwiga said...

Spiderwoman - where are the pics of that beastly creature you've encountered? Loved to talk to you tonight!

The Mostess said...

Yeah, I disagree. You're not really funny at all. But Tori Spelling in Lifetime's "Mother May I Sleep With Danger"....that's funny stuff. I miss you, my un-funny friend. :(